Gratitude

The other morning, as we were getting the boys ready for school, I got upset with my four and a half year old son J. Not just upset but angry. You know what we were fighting about? He didn't like his new shoes. I know, a little trivial and ridiculous. We go through this drama every year with new shoes and jackets and clothes that he needs since he seems to be growing so fast. He has a hard time with adapting to change and accepting new things so I should have expected it. 

But it was something about the way he rejected the shoes that struck a chord with me. It was the fact that he didn't seem to appreciate what he had - how lucky he was to have these things that keep him warm and dry. There must be an old Chinese lady lurking inside of me because I started saying things like, "Fine. If you don't want them, you don't have to wear any shoes to school." Really? Did that seriously come out of my mouth? In that moment, I just felt defeated and deflated, like can't you just appreciate what you have, that Mommy and Daddy work hard to provide nice things for you and your little brother DD? OMG. I am turning into my mother.

With Thanksgiving coming up, I've been thinking a lot about gratitude - that there is so much in my life to be grateful for but I don't express it enough or appreciate it enough. Maybe that's why I got as upset as I did...or maybe it was because I was tired and groggy and sick and just wanted to get the day moving. Either way, I know that it wasn't right of me to get upset with J. I know that gratitude and appreciation are grand sentiments for an almost five year old to grasp but it made me think about the values we are cultivating in our children. Why are we always searching for something better instead of being thankful for what we have? How can we slow things down enough for ourselves and our kids to learn to notice the details and center ourselves in a more conscious way?